Together is Best

Planned home birth; just not exactly as planned.

2011-04-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

Genevieve Paige's birth story

Our birth was wonderful and nothing like I planned! We had been planing a home birth with M.A.M.A.S midwifery since the moment I got pregnant. I had been diligent about my prenatal care, my birth kit had been packed since 36 weeks, the back-up plan was typed up with all hospital phone numbers handy, I was ready.

On Easter Sunday, my water broke at 5:25am. I was in bed, felt a little bit of pressure, thought I should go sit on the toilet just in case, but instead just moved the pillows from between my legs. It wasn't a super lot, but there was enough vernix in it that I knew what it was. I listened to the baby's heartbeat, and all was well. About 20 minutes later, I started having very mild contractions about every 5 minutes or so. I sent Shawn downstairs to prep for Easter brunch, which I still thought I would have time to host. (Such a dumbass!) I stayed in bed and tried to snooze some more. I did my hypnobirthing relaxation scripts for a while and contractions continued to come every 5-7 minutes. They weren't really intense, so I pretty much ignored them. I took a shower, then Shawn stated working on filling the tub. It got halfway full before the hot water ran out. I called the Erin, the midwife at 7:10 to let her know that I would be needing her later.

I didn't think things were going very quickly, so told her I'd call back in 2 hours. By 8:00, I was sitting on the birthing ball moaning like a cow and they were probably coming every 2-5 minutes, but I still didn't think it was time. It felt like they were really short, but it turns out they were lasting a full 60 secs. At one point, I said to myself, I don't think I can do this! Then I said, of course you can Anne, you ARE doing it. Then I laughed at myself and said, gee, it sounds like you're in transition...Naaa, it's only been an hour or so!

8:15 I had to poop, so I sat on the toilet and pooped away. Then I continued pooping with almost every contraction and couldn't get off the damm pot! Emma was a little worried about all the noises I was making, so Shawn brought her upstairs so she could see that I was ok. In between OOOOOOooooooooosssssssss, I said Mommy's ok honey, Mommy's ok. At 8:20, they were coming every 2-3 minutes and I knew we needed to call the midwife and that it was probably going to be too late. Shawn was downstairs because Emma was being needy and not chilling with her aunt, uncle and Lola and I couldn't get off the toilet to call Erin back! He finally came back and we called at 8:43.

At 8:50, I grunted with a contraction and felt the urge to push. I checked myself, and felt the head just inside my vagina. I knew we were on our own. I said, "Shawn, the baby's coming. Get Brooke!" Brooke is our neighbor who was helping out with Emma. She ran upstairs, I told her which stuff to bring in from the birth kit in the bedroom. Then I started pushing. I was protecting my perineum with my left hand, flexing the head with my right, and slowly delivered the head. Then I checked for a nuchal cord, (cord around the neck) actually said the words, "No nuchal cord," and Shawn and I delivered the shoulders. I pushed some more, and all four of our hands brought her to my chest. Brooke snapped photos the whole time, so we have the entire sequence. It's pretty awesome. Emma came upstairs a few moments later, met the baby, then went back down. I dried baby off, Brooke got me fresh towels, preped the bed, brought me a blue chux to tuck between my legs. I waddled to the bed with baby in my arms and the cord still attached to placenta between my legs. The Mairi and Erin arrived at 9:15, just in time to deliver the placenta and cut the cord. The midwives checked my bottom and I only had a couple of small tears that weren't bleeding, so we left them alone to heal on their own.

Emma got in the tub afterwards, so it wasn't a total waste of money. Just mostly :)

So that's my crazy birth story. Now we are well and working on breastfeeding. My nipples hurt, but otherwise we are okay. Emma is doing a pretty good job adjusting. She has some whiny moments, but otherwise is good.

Full term tomorrow

2011-04-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is 37 weeks, which is technically full term.

I think I'm about as ready as I'm going to be. I've got my home birth kit all set up in the guest room closet, the trial run of the tub has been done and Shawn knows what he's doing with it. I need to find some ammonia to clean afterwards, and I need to stock up on some Coke and snacks. Other than that, we are ready. Shawn put the new car seat in my car and set up the Amby Baby bassinet in our room. Emma is having a good time putting her animals in there and rocking them to sleep.

Last night, I brought in the 6th pillow to sleep with. I now have 3 under my head for the massive heartburn, one under my belly, one supporting my back, and a pillow plus light blanket for extra height between my knees. It's getting a little ridiculous. Shawn can barely roll over. I am pretty uncomfortable now. My back hurts, the heartburn is crazy, as is the shortness of breath. Shawn said my breathing sounded like a snake slithering through dry leaves because I have so much extra mucus.

I will continue to be patient though and let this baby come when he or she is ready. We still don't have names that we both absolutely love anyway. I keep hoping for that Eureka moment when we will know the names are right. Of course it may all change once we meet the baby, but I want to have a few options that I love before that happens.

Emma the two year old is wonderful and frustrating. I am learning to deal with her outbursts though. Most of the time they are bad when she is either hungry or tired, so I am getting better at anticipating those needs, or intervening earlier when she is melting down beyond repair. Yesterday, she hugged my belly and said, "I love you, Baby." It was so stinking cute, I almost cried. Then latter in the day she said, "Mommy, you so beautiful." I am overwhelmed with love for her. I think that's why I've been able to bond so much more with this pregnancy. I know how fantastic motherhood is and I can't wait to do it some more. Emma is so great, I can only imagine how much I'm going to love this one too. It is such a gift to watch them grow and learn. I am honored to be able to do it again.

35 weeks

2011-03-30T00:08:00.001-07:00

I am 35 weeks pregnant with baby number two and my Emmaline is two years old.

It's so cliche, but seriously, where does the time go? Preparing for the birth of this baby, it feels like I gave birth to Emma just a few months ago. We are having a home birth this time and I am really looking forward to it. I love my midwives and I love that I'm not going to have to drive anywhere while in active labor! I have my birth kit just about ready. I have to wash the washcloths and put the flashlight in the box, but other than that, I think I'm done. Of course I'll think of something else tomorrow night when I am again up at 3am because I got up to pee and couldn't go back to sleep. We have been practicing our hypnobirthing techniques every night and I've been doing my birth affirmations just about every morning. I am feeling fairly prepared, but still glad I have a few more weeks to keep working on it. We ordered a tub, which should be here in a few days. I wasn't feeling apprehensive at all until yesterday when I looked back at my birth photos with Emma. I remember labor being intense, but not painful. Looking at my pictures, my face sure looks like I was in pain! I am thinking that those photos were actually of me either feeling the urge to push, or actually pushing. Either way, it made me a little nervous. I think I might have to do a little fear release session to let those images go.

We moved Emma into the slightly bigger guest room to make room for two cribs in there. She handled the transition beautifully and is doing quite well. She pats and kisses my belly and asks to see Baby all the time. We are doing lots of reading and talking about Baby. She helped me put the new diapers away and talks about sharing her blankets and old clothes with Baby. I am struggling a bit with where to put stuff. I think I'll get an over the door organizer for Baby's diaper stuff so that it is readily at hand instead of the two steps away station that we have for Emma. The dresser is completely full and the closet is getting there. We also need a ton more diapers.

Work is going well. I am really enjoying being with the students and also being out in the Midwifery community again. Of course right now, all I want to do is get my nest together, but I'm working on a balance. I should have all my visits done at 37 weeks and then I just have to wrap up the paperwork. I have a few problem children who need extra time and attention, but some are pulling it together. I am worried about two of them though. One seems to have both the motivation and the ability to get herself together, and the other two just can't seem to do it. I know that they want to, I'm just not sure if they are capable of it. We'll see.

A few months ago, Desi called to offer to throw me a baby shower. I was so touched because I didn't think anyone would do that for my second baby! We made it coed and I put together a pretty good list of friends that I thought would come. As of the day before, only 3 friends were coming along with family, spouses and children. But the day came and only one friend showed up.

I can say I understand.

I can say that I should be honored that anyone bothered to come for Baby number 2.

I can say that I understand that people are busy and have other things to do.

But it doesn't change that fact that I feel deeply hurt. Especially when I see facebook status' of friends who RSVPd no with important updates like going grocery shopping and having breakfast with other people. Shawn felt terrible for me. He asked if it would have been better if he had gotten a cake and flowers and balloons, but I said it just would have made the lack more obvious. As it was, Desi bought food for 20. I can't help but feel slighted. I'm sure I'll get over it. But it's only been a few days and I am still just sad. No one came to my party. Ok. Not no one, but hardly anyone. At least Emma had a good playdate. My one friend who did show up is the most caring person in the world. She did such a good job of turning the attention back to me and the fact that we are welcoming a new baby into the world. We talked expanding diaper bags, breastfeeding, birthing, and sibling preparation. As the mama of 4 amazing children, I value her advice! She was perfect and I am grateful that she is a part of my life.

Well. It is now almost 4am so I should probably try to go back to sleep. It feels good to get some of that out of my head.

New Job

2010-11-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

Add a new job to pregnancy and life with a toddler and I am wondering if I have taken leave of my senses.

I started working with Georgetown University's Midwifery department last week. I am the clinical site visitor, which means I will spend my time wrangling the schedules of 13 students ad trying to visit them all at their clinical sites before the semester ends. This wouldn't be nearly so difficult if I didn't start the job 4 weeks before the semester ends and one of those weeks is Thanksgiving so no Thursday or Friday clinicals. Then I have students hemming and hawing about which days I come because they don't like who they are with on the day that I will observe, or their schedule changes every week and they don't know what that schedule will be until the week before. I am pulling my hair out. I haven't napped in days! I am hoping the next semesters will not be so bad because I will be there from the beginning and part of the planning. This sucks though.

It will be good to be in the adult world again for a few days a week. We found a nanny for Emma who is pretty flexible with her schedule and it seems to be working out. Emma is happy with her and that's all that really matters.

Parenting sucess story

2010-11-02T16:08:00.000-07:00

We have been taking Emma for walks around the block a few times a week with the weather being as nice has it has been. She loves looking at the changing leaves and always carries a stick or a leaf around with her. Her adventurous spirit seemed boundless until we came upon some seed pods. These are long, brownish-black things that fall from a few trees in our neighborhood and Emma was terrified of them. I mean stop dead in her tracks and not move a muscle terrified. We would have to pick her up and carry them over the dang things to keep going. We tried showing them to her, soothing her, distracting her, and finally kicked them off of the path, but she wouldn't go near them. For days, this went on. Each day we would try to help her get over her fear, holding them ourselves, crunching them under our feet, and laughing at their silly shape and sound.

After about a week of this, Emma and I were walking alone, and again she stopped short at the seed pods. I squatted down with her, and picked up one of the pods. We had been going to a music class and she loves the maracas, so I got a burst of inspiration. I said, "Look Emma, see how they make noise when you shake them?" She seemed interested and didn't shy away. Then I showed her how they fell from the tree above us and had seeds inside. I opened them up and handed her a seed to inspect (then took it out of her mouth!) and reminded her about how seeds make trees, just like in one of our books. Then, I showed her what a great sound it made when you throw it, and that did it! She picked up a pod and threw it on the ground. Her little face lit up as she listened to the rattle. Then she went around picking them up, throwing them, and applauding herself every time. It felt so great to help her through her fear. I don't want her to be a fearful child and this was the first time she has really shown any trepidation about anything. Now she walks past them without a second glance.

I'm pregnant!

2010-10-15T16:04:00.001-07:00

It took 13 months to conceive Emma, and 2 for baby number 2! I am so glad I made us wait!! Shawn was anxious to start trying as soon as Emma turned 1, but boy I did not want 2 babies under 2. The nausea began about 3 days after conception so I tested super early. If figured if I wasn't pregnant, there was something seriously wrong with me. The stick turned blue at 3 weeks and 4 days. I am now almost 12 weeks and am feeling much better. The nausea went away last week and I am getting a little bit of energy back. I still take 2 hour naps with Emma, don't get me wrong, but I don't feel like collapsing at 8:30 any more. We are going to have a home birth with this one. I am so excited about it! Emma's labor and birth was so wonderful and peaceful, except for the drive to the birth center. I feel like I did it before, I can do it again, and there will be no driving involved :) We are going with a midwifery practice called M.A.M.A.S. Midwives and I know and respect both midwives. I think it will be a good fit. It's expensive, but I think it will be worth it. We are going to rent a tub and set it up in the living room. It will be so great to bring this new life into the world in the loving environment of our own home. We have a hospital 5 minutes up the road if we need it, but I am sure everything will be fine. What did I say to myself my whole pregnancy with Emma? 90% of pregnancy, labor, and birth are normal. It will be great. Shawn is super excited too and totally on board. We are going to do Hypnobirthing again.

Another baby! Emma is going to be such a good big sister. She is so great with other kids, and gentle with babies. I am happy.

Seattle anniversary

2010-07-20T17:03:00.000-07:00

Shawn and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on the 5th of July. We took Emmaline to Seattle to visit Aunt Judy, Uncle Roy, Lauren, and the Garman's. We had a wonderful time hanging out with family and friends. We left Emma with Aunt Judy and Lauren on the 5th and had a lovely romantic 24 hours away. We stayed at the Fairmont Olympic right next to the Seattle Museum of Art (which was closed) and had dinner at restaurant called Tilth. The desk clerk upgraded us to an executive suite in celebration of our anniversary and sent up "Happy Honeymoon" chocolate covered strawberries. We had an uninterrupted nap, an excellent dinner, and slept in before a decadent brunch. We were both missing Emma, so we cut the morning short and went back to the house to relieve Lauren. It was so great to get away for a little bit, and Emma did just fine. We haven't been doing that very much and we need to take more time for each other. We decided that we need to have a date at least twice a month. Emma was so great with the Delgado's, I feel like she will be fine with the neighbors so we can go for a dinner date once in a while. She went to sleep just fine, only woke once, and was soothed back to sleep with a few simple words from Lauren.

It was great to spend time with Shanti and her new little one, Ellie. Mira was also really good with Emma, helping to hold her hand and keep her steady on her new feet. We went to the zoo, and Golden Gardens, and just hung out. Shanti's neighborhood was having a kids street festival and Emma got a balloon and a toy ring. It was a lovely time.

We had the whole spectrum of weather, from cold and cloudy to hot and sunny. The sunny days were so beautiful, it made me feel like I could live there, but the cloudiness was too much. Shawn and I get cranky enough during east coast winters, I don't think we could handle the pacific northwest!

Elisa (Ellie) Garman

Shawn and Emma at the zoo.

Shanti, Mira, Ellie and me at the zoo.

Emma's prize from the festival.

Emma with her balloon, ring and daddy.

Emma and Mira playing in the sand at Golden Gardens.

Lauren and Emma at Golden Gardens.

Walking

2010-06-27T15:04:00.000-07:00

Emma started walking on Wed. She was standing at the table in the kitchen, Shawn was sitting in the chair, and she took about 3 steps to him. We looked at each other like, "did you see that?" Shawn walked away from her a little bit, and beckoned her to come to him, and she walked again. Then I squatted down and she walked to me. We clapped and cheered like crazy, which made her do the same thing. We played baby ping-pong for a little while with her walking back and forth between us clapping and cheering at each parent. When she would get to one of us, she would make the "more" sign, turn around and walk to the other one. She was very wobbly and her head was bobbling with each step. It was so cute. It's been a few days and she is already much stronger. She still prefers to crawl, but we walk a little farther each day.

We have been reading a lot. She likes to bring me stories and crawl onto my lap so I can read to her. She is quite opinionated about which stories she wants to hear and will push away the offending offering. We are in the repeat stories over and over phase. I think I read Pat the Bunny 10 times over the course of the day last week.

I have Emma enrolled in Gymboree. It's a lot of fun. She gets to crawl around, practice her walking and climbing, and play with other kids. It's great to see her generous spirit in action with other kids. She is always sharing balls and bringing them to her friends. She loves the songs and dancing, and is very adventurous. When there is a new activity to try, she does it willingly while some other kids are hesitant or won't even try. She also loves the parachute time at the end. We let them lay down on the floor and make the parachute fly over their heads. Lots of kids will sit there or run away, but my girl lays on her back and laughs at the parachute going up and down. She loves the wind it creates too.

She is definitely in toddler-hood now. Her opinions on things are very clear, even if she doesn't know what they are. Sometimes she starts a tantrum for no reason and I am sure her brain is just in overload. She doesn't know what she wants or doesn't want, she's just not happy. It's getting very challenging. The signs are helping, but it's not a perfect system. I had to escape to the mall and a pedicure yesterday. Shawn went climbing with the boys early in the morning, and by 8am I was losing my mind. He and Rob came home and rescued me and I disappeared for about 5 hours. I felt much better today and more equipped to handle her. We need to start implementing date night at least once or twice a month. We are going to Seattle for our anniversary next week and will have an over-night in a hotel just the two of us. I can't wait. I just hope she sleeps for Aunt Judy!

Baby Signs

2010-06-10T15:53:00.001-07:00

I have been trying to teach Emma some basic sign language for months and it's finally sinking in. The last few days she has been doing the signs for "more" and "all done," but it has been very frustrating because she uses them for everything. She gets frustrated and just keeps saying "more" and then "all done," which doesn't tell me what she wants! She went up to the stroller and did "more." I just looked at her like, "more stroller?" I put her in the stroller thinking she wanted to go for a ride, but she freaked out and had a little fit on the floor. Once she calmed down a little, she went back to the strtoller and did "more" again. I said, "Emma, do you want to go for a ride?" I put her back in the stroller, strapped her in, and walked around the house. She sucked her thumb and was happy as a clam. I have been pushing "eat," "milk," and "water" to help her differentiate her wants. I think she is finally getting that I am trying to help her to communicate because today she has been eating up the signs. She stares intently as I show her "eat," "book," and "outside." Then she repeats them. It's so rewarding when she gets it!

She has a few words, "Dada," "Mama," "hi-fi" (high-five,) "diti" (kitty,) "hi," and "bye." She is still only walking with assistance, but is getting better one handed and can stand unassisted for a few seconds. She just doesn't like it!

Cooper's Rock camping/bouldering

2010-04-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

We went to Cooper's Rock last weekend to go camping and climbing. John, Brooke, and Oscar went with us. We had a great time. It was wonderful to have so many people to help with the cooking! We split all the meals, so everyone made one meal each. We had chocolate chip pancakes and bacon from John on Saturday morning, blueberry pancakes and bacon from Brooke and Oscar, and flank steak with chimichurri sauce, baked potatoes, and salad from us. Add on S'mores, toasted PEEPs, and fresh berries, and it was a pretty decadent weekend.

With Emma in our lives and only more children to come, we decided we needed a bigger tent. What we got was a gigantic palace. (It was a little embarrassing.) We got the Hobitat 6 from REI and it's huge. I think it is over 6 feet tall with a large footprint. We had our full size air mattress, Emma's KidCo tent, and all of our stuff and there was room to spare. Unfortunately our air mattress had a leak in it and we were sleeping on the rocks by the middle of the night. I couldn't take it and hand pumped a little bit, but it didn't last long. The next night, we brought in the Mondo crash pad to put under the air mattress and it was much more comfortable.

The weather was strange. It was about 80 degrees during the day, and down to the 40s at night. Emma was cold, but there wasn't much I could do. She had two layers of pj's, two blankets underneath, and three on top. Plus, she was working on a new tooth so she woke up a bunch. She did have a fantastic time crawling around the forest floor, climbing over rocks, and getting filthy. Since it was Easter, we "hid" some plastic Easter eggs around the campsite for her to find. Shawn put some grapes in them so she could have a treat.

Shawn and John did some good problems. Shawn did 4 V5s in 2 days. Brooke and Oscar don't really boulder, but we got them on the rock and they did a good job. We did a bunch of V0s and some V1s. Oscar and I made some good moves on Moby's Dick, V3 and I am hopeful that I will get it this season.

Brooke and Oscar continue to become good friends. It is so nice to have neighbors that I consider friends. We have been doing dinner once or twice a week at each others houses. It is great to not have to cook one night, and not have to do dishes the other night! Plus, cooking for four is easier than cooking for 2 1/2. We have been watching RuPaul's Drag Race together on Thursday nights and it is hilarious. Life is good.

Mary, Brian, Tommy, and Emily are coming for a visit tomorrow and I am excited to see them. I bought Emmaline and Emily matching Easter dresses. It's going to be so cute! There is a parade in DC for the Cherry Blossom Festival with a Japanese street fair afterwards on Saturday. I hope the weather is good and that the babies cooperate. I've wanted to go to it since moving here. Nora and Desi want to come too so it should be a big crowd! We will have a good time.

My Emmaline is one year old!

2010-03-28T17:55:00.001-07:00

Birthday party morning.

Emma loved the balloons!

I made construction paper flowers and butterflies to celebrate my Spring baby. (Brooke made the butterflies.)

While she was napping, the party started without her.

Pranay, Shawn, and Brooke.

Lola and Ella.

I can't believe it's been a year since my little one came into our lives. It has been such an amazing journey and I am so blessed to be experiencing it. We had her party the Sunday before her actual birthday. Our neighbors, Brooke and Oscar came, as well as Pranay, Elizabeth, and Zivia. Of course Nora, Desi, and Ella rounded out the party. Emma fell asleep about an hour before our guests arrived and we let her snooze for a little while longer. When she woke up, she had some hummus, black bean dip, and veggies before trying and loving her birthday cake. I made an applesauce spice cake, which was quite tasty. Then the little ones played a bit and we opened presents. Emma got some super cute clothes, a wooden train from Shanti, Matt and Mira, and a book. Then it was time for Zivia to take a nap, so everyone went home. I think Emma had a good time. She was surrounded by people who love her.

Emma and Zivia actually interacted!

The mommies switched babies.

She was a bit confused by the candle.

But it was delicious!

She has been doing some great developmental things. She is crawling very quickly, cruising, pointing at things she wants and vocalizing. The down side, is that she has truly entered toddler-hood. She screams bloody murder when she is done eating and wants to get down, arches her back to fling herself out of my arms, and throws food when she is finished. Her vocalizations when displeased are earsplitting! I am trying to be very patient and help her to figure out what her emotions are and how to handle them. We are really pushing the baby signs so she can tell us what she wants and not get so frustrated. We do "all done" and "more" the most. Sometimes she does it and we go crazy with the praise to get her to do it again.

Emma is figuring out that clothes go on the body. She follows commands when dressing, "put your arm in the sleeve," "can I have your foot please?" Today, she tried to put her shoe on her foot, and took her own pants off in the living room. She also likes to put my clothes on when they are on the bathroom floor. She points at things she wants to talk about, points at the kittens in Good Night, Moon and is giving kisses. It's pretty amazing to watch her.

Our 12 months pediatrician appointment was not so great. She only weighs 17lbs 2oz, and is 26.5 inches long. That is 2nd and 8th percentile respectively. She has always been on the small end of the growth curve, but this time she is below the scale. Our doctor isn't too concerned, but she wants to watch her and see how she does in three months. Of course Shawn and I feel like terrible parents, me more so because I am the family's nutritionist! The first few days after her appointment, we were crazy critical of everything she ate and pushed her to eat more and more. Of course she had gotten some vaccines so her appetite was low and she didn't want to eat much. It has gotten better over the last few days. It's fun now, because she is eating just about everything that we eat. I just try to give her some pureed stuff on top of her finger foods to maximize her intake. I have a food log going, and I borrowed a food scale from Brooke so I can know how much she's really eating. Of course it's hard to estimate when much of it ends up on the floor! I'm trying not to freak out about each meal, but to go for a good average of calories and balance of nutrients per week. I am totally going to weigh her on the vegetable scale at Safeway in a few weeks to see how we are doing ;)

On a brighter note, she is sleeping through the night. We did a combination of Kim West's Sleep Lady Shuffle, and Ferber; I night weaned, and Shawn took over the sleep training. It took about 4 nights and she is good. Now if she wakes in the night, she cries for a few moments then falls back asleep. Once in a while she has a hard time, especially when some teeth are about to break through, but other than that, she is good. Speaking of teeth, she now has 3 out on top, and one on the way, and 3 out on the bottom. Her smile is so cute because she keeps feeling her teeth. It's a little crooked, but so adorable.

Shawn put together this fantastic video of Emma 6 months to one year.

The Blizzards of 2010

2010-03-08T17:10:00.000-08:00

Between February 5 and 8th, we got a total of 32 inches of snow. It was crazy. They even cancelled surgeries at Union Memorial so Shawn got 2 free days off. We shoveled and shoveled and shoveled. We were too tired from shoveling to ever really go out an play in it. Shawn tackled me and that was fun. But mostly, we shoveled. I shoveled when Emma was napping and just brought the baby monitor outside with me. Schools were closed for a little over a week. I am so very glad Spring is here. I don't want any more snow for a while. We did get to spend a lot of time with the neighbors, Brooke and Oscar, so that was nice. We trudged back and forth between each other's houses. We cooked together, played Rock Band, and just hung out. I am so glad we have such great neighbors who have become such wonderful friends.

This is Shawn trying to shovel while the snow was still coming down to make it easier later. It didn't work.

This is the view from our living room window. You can see the little bump that is the neighbors car.

Here is our house.

The sky was beautiful after the snow.

We went on a walk through the neighborhood once our driveways were clear. I'm pretty sure this house is vacant. The snow came halfway up the garage.

This is on of the side streets that isn't on the emergency snow route. They didn't get plowed out for a few days.

This is our street the day after the second storm. The city did a good job keeping our street driveable the whole time, and clear within a few days. Emma enjoyed our walk.

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Beginnings of a Blizzard

2010-02-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

The snow started this morning around 10, cool, but wet, and didn't start sticking until around 4. We are going to Hueco Tanks in a little over a week, so I strapped Emma in the Moby Wrap and we went for a walk at noon. The snow was falling, but felt more like rain than anything. We kept it short, only 20 minutes, but I got plenty of funny looks from drivers. I had her quite warm, in her bear suit and a quilt wrapped around us. I couldn't keep the quilt on and hold an umbrella at the same time, so our faces got a little wet. The hiking in Hueco always surprises me. It's not really bad, but it's at a bit of elevation so I am usually sucking wind pretty hard for the first few days. I am trying to prevent that this year by walking a bunch. I am not able to climb as much or as hard as I like to train before a trip, but I'm doing the best I can. Strapping 17 pounds of baby to my chest while walking can't hurt either!

The snow is starting to stick pretty well now. The tree branches are covered in snow and the wind is blowing the snow in all directions. I was able to go grocery shopping last night (along with everyone else in Laurel) so we have enough food in case we get snowed in. The predictions are anywhere from 6-12 inches, to 12-36 inches. Luckily Shawn made it home from work just fine and we are ready to hunker down for the weekend.

Emma's development has exploded! She is creeping on the hardwood floors and tiles, and crawling on the carpet. Her little knees slide out from under her on the wood floors. She is pulling herself up on the furniture and starting to cruise a little. She is pointing at things she wants to talk about, and pulling things out of things. Her new favorite game is emptying the diaper bag as fast as she can. She also likes to empty the laundry basket, her toy basket, and the pantry. Nap/bedtimes are times for mommy to put everything back where it belongs so she can do it all over again when she wakes up. Vocally, she's about the same. Lots of babbling and squealing.

We are having a good time. I am so glad I am home with her.

New Year's Day 2010

2010-01-01T14:50:00.000-08:00

We toasted the New Year at 12:00 and promptly went back to sleep. Emmaline woke up at 3:30 and we battled getting her back to sleep until almost 5. Then we had to get up at 6:30 to meet Rob in Reston for breakfast. He is leaving for Afghanistan today. He works for BAE designing battle armor and is looking forward to seeing his work in person. I just hope he stays safe. It's a 6 month assignment with the possibility of extending to a year. He is Shawn's climbing buddy and we will miss him.

After first breakfast, we met Katrina, Randolph, Nora, Desi and Ella at Mon Ami Gabi in Bethesda for second breakfast. Most of us opted for lunch type food. We were celebrating Desi's birthday a little early so our waiter brought out a profiterole with a candle and sang to her in French. We had a great time. It was so nice to spend the first day of the New Year with family.

Emma did a great job at two restaurants. Cheerios, peas, mum-mums, apples, zucchini and barley, and squeaky giraffe toys did wonders. She got fussy on the way home though, she only slept for 30 minutes in the car between breakfasts. When we got home, the whole family collapsed for a nap. Emma slept for almost 3 hours. She woke up, played a bit, had dinner of pears and rice cereal with a side of mum-mums and Cheerios, took a bath with her daddy, and was in bed by 7:30. Shawn and I had a lovely dinner of chicken and dumplings and have spent the rest of the evening on the couch watching TV and playing video games. I would say it's been a great start to 2010.

Emma's First Christmas

2009-12-31T12:13:00.000-08:00

Emma's first Christmas was lovely. We had almost all of Shawn's family here including Nora, Desi, Ella, and Billy. Our friend Rob joined us as well. Everyone came over on Christmas Eve so we could have Christmas morning together. Shawn read the Night Before Christmas before getting Emma to bed, and we woke up to stockings.

Santa gave me an electric griddle so challah french toast was a snap.

After breakfast we unwrapped presents.

Ella's pile was certainly the biggest and Emma napped through the present phase of the day. She opened hers when she woke up. And by opened, I mean she ate the paper while I opened the presents. We spent the rest of the day cooking, eating, and playing with our gifts while TBS looped A Christmas Story in the background.

Tara, Chris, and Bill were missed. We had early Christmas with Katrina and Randolph the week before. Unfortunately, the blizzard kept Desi and Nora from coming.

It is now New Year's Eve. My daughter is sleeping in her crib. She woke a few minutes ago and her daddy soothed her back to sleep in moments. She's been sleeping great since a few days before Christmas. I love her so very much and am so grateful to be home with her. Watching her grow is amazing. She is feeding herself cheerios and peas, drinking from a sippy cup, and laughing at everything. I am so content. We watched Away We Go and are now going to bed. We'll set an alarm for just before midnight so we can have a New Year's smooch. I can't think of a better way to ring in 2010.

A day in the life of a stay at home mommy

2009-11-19T13:52:00.000-08:00

I have been a stay at home mommy now for just about 3 weeks and I am so very happy. It is so nice to be here with Emma and watch her grow. She is rolling around like crazy now, sitting well, and babbling up a storm. She especially likes saying da-da-da-da-da-da-da and squealing in a lovely high pitched voice. The acorn squash made her break out in hives, so no more squash for Emma. She is enjoying apples, but did not like the avocados. What kind of daughter of mine loves zucchini and sweet potatoes, but hates avocado? I don't understand.

We have a pretty good routine established. She wakes to eat around 5am, and Shawn brings her to bed. We go back to sleep until 7, get up and dressed, then go downstairs for breakfast. I have toast and hot chocolate milk and Emma has the new food of the week.

We play until 9 when she goes down for her morning nap. I get stuff done, including showering and getting dressed until she wakes between 10-11. Then we eat and do whatever errands need to be done and/or play some more.

She's back down for a nap around 2-3 for another 1-2 hours. Shawn comes home and we spend time together, eat, play, and watch some tv.

Emma gets a bath and we get her in bed around 7. If it's a good night, she stays down until midnight then 5 and we start all over!

We have been to a play date, lunch with another mommy and baby 3 times, and a baby/toddler jam session. The play date was great because Amy has a 2 year old and an 8 month old so it's nice to have someone with a baby the same age as me. I met this other mom, Chris at the mall and we hit it off pretty well so have been having weekly lunch dates since I stopped working. Her son is 5 months old and it's fun to tell her what to expect in the upcoming weeks. The baby jam session was disappointing. The music was super fun, there was a guitar and sax and percussion instruments for the kids and we all sang songs. The mommies, however were not friendly at all. It was like they all knew each other and were not interested in expanding their circle to include Emma and I. I kept trying to talk to people and I would get short answers and no reciprocation. It was very high school. We'll try again at the next session in a few weeks, maybe it will be better. Even if it's not, singing Down by the Bay with a sax solo interlude is fantastic!

So far, I haven't missed work at all. I miss having entertaining stories at the dinner table, but not the work itself. I have been busy enough with other adults, and Shawn has been pretty good. I am bad at pouncing on Shawn as soon as he gets home and not giving him enough time to settle in so I am working on that. I think I will try to take Emma to one of the clinics next week to show her off a little bit and remind my good friends that I haven't forgotten them.

Here are some Halloween pictures of Emma as a ladybug and Shawn and I as flowers.

Rehoboth Beach

2009-10-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

We went to Rehoboth Beach, DE this weekend. Shawn had a conference for the Maryland Asociation of Nurse Anesthetists and Emma and I played.

It was the Sea Witch festival and they had lots of booths and games, plus a costume parade.

Our hotel was right on the beach and one block away from the festival, so Emma and I were able to go play, and then easily run back to the hotel for naps.

I kept taking pictures of the festival and texting them to Shawn while he was in classes. I wanted him to feel like he was part of it. Shawn was in class until 6:30 on Saturday night and we went to dinner at a cute restaurant called Eden. We shared a risotto for an appetizer, I had a beautifully cooked chicken, and Shawn had the salmon. It was past Emma's bedtime, so we got a key lime pie to go. We spent the whole dinner taking turns standing and rocking with her, but it was nice to have a really good dinner again. We haven't been out to a nice dinner since our anniversary in July.

The next morning Emma and I went to a coffee shop where she had pears and I had a breakfast burrito. Then we went back to the hotel to pack up. I was hoping she would nap while I packed, but no such luck. Shawn got out a little early so we hit up our other favorite pastime in Rehoboth, tax free outlet shopping! We got Emma a bunch of fall/winter clothes and a few pieces for ourselves. Of course she fell asleep in the sling while shopping, effectively killing my shoulder with her dead weight.

It was a lovely weekend. Too cold for any beach time, but we did visit a little.

I just finished my last week of work! I am officially a stay at home mommy now. To celebrate, Emma and I went with out neighbor Brooke to a farm in Maryland to go apple picking. We stopped at the pumpkin patch so Brooke could ge a pumpkin and we took a photo op of Emma in her pumpkin outfit. Then we picked apples and califlower. The broccoli was past it's peak, but we didn't realize it until after we trapsed through the soaking wet plants. We were very muddy and wet by the time we got to the car. It was a lot of fun. We'll be sure to go out earlier next year.

Tomorrow is a Halloween party at Brooke and Oscar's where Emma will be a ladybug and Shawn and I will be flowers ;). Pictures to follow.

-- Posted from my iPhone

A nice day

2009-10-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

Emma and I have had a cold this past week. One of her classmates was sick last week and gave it to us. She has been okay, just a little cough and stuffy nose, and a bit clingy. Shawn went climbing in the morning both Sat and Sun and I thought I was going to die. Having a sore throat, stuffy nose, and fatigue while taking care of a baby who was fussy with the same symptoms was not fun. We are on the mend now though. (And no, it's not swine flu)

We are having a lovely day today consisting of eating, playing, and napping. We went to the post office for stamps this morning, and I listened to an interview with the John Potter the Postmaster General on the Diane Rehm show on NPR. Then we went to Trader Joe's where I got more organic zucchini for Emma, and chocolate cat cookies for people for Shawn and me. Since Emma eats the peel too, it's important to be organic says the Williams Sonoma Cooking for Baby cookbook! She went to sleep almost right away when we got back and I have been steaming, pureeing, making a beef stew, and doing laundry with my time. I swear it's just like being on call. I only plan one activity at a time because I never know how much time I am going to get before she wakes up and needs me!

It's been a nice day. Shawn has a meeting at work tonight so won't be home until after 7. If I can clean the house a bit more, I might invite Oscar, my neighbor over for stew. His wife is in Hawaii for work for this week; he joins her on Sat for their 1 year anniversary. He is pretty allergic to cats, so we'll see. The maids come tomorrow, but that won't help me tonight!

Let's see, developmentally, Emma is doing well. She is sitting up like a big girl, especially when she has a fun toy to hold on to so she doesn't think about keeping her balance. She is getting better at rolling over. The bottom arm gets stuck when she goes from tummy to back, but it doesn't seem to bother her. She just keeps twitching her body until her arm is free. When she is on her tummy, her legs are moving like crazy, I keep thinking she is going to take off. She's also having a great time flinging herself from sitting to her tummy then flailing her limbs. She is enjoying solid food. We have given her rice cereal, pears, and zucchini. Next, is acorn squash. Her fine motor control is getting pretty good. She very deliberately will pick up her binky with thumb and first two fingers, turn it over, and put it in her mouth.

I have less than 4 weeks left at work and am very excited. I've been looking at fun activities for us to do, but each time I try to go to one, Emma is napping! I can't bring myself to wake her up just to go to story time at the library, or yoga, or a sing-a-long in the park. I'm sure we'll think of something.

6 months old

2009-09-19T14:31:00.000-07:00

Can you believe that Emma is 6 months old?

I can't. The time has flown by. I knew it would, but knowing it would and actually experiencing it are two different things. We gave her rice cereal last night for the first time. She didn't seem to care too much, but Shawn gave her more this morning and she enjoyed it. I made my own and am very proud. I ground brown rice in the blender and it cooks up just like cream of wheat. I really want the Williams Sonoma Cooking For Baby cookbook, and I think I am going to splurge the $20 the next time I'm at the mall. Since my breast milk will not be her only source of nutrition anymore, I like being in control of what foods she eats. I bought a little food mill to grind up stuff, so it should be pretty easy.

This next phase is going to be exciting. She is sitting up tripod style a lot, and hands free a little bit. She rolls over onto her tummy, and has gone to her back a few times, just not all that coordinated. We bought her an excersaucer and she LOVES it. We put her in one to sample at Babies R Us and she literally dove for the toys. My house is slowly getting more and more primary colored decor.

My climbing is slowly getting back on tract. We went camping at Cooper's Rock again a few weeks ago and I was able to repeat two V2s. I did a V3 in the gym today. Considering I was pretty solid in the V4s before I got pregnant, I still have a ways to go. We are going to go camping and climbing again next weekend and hopefully I'll be able to get an outdoor V3. Emma seems to do fine camping. It was a little chilly at night last time, but Kitty gave us a sheepskin so I'll put that on top of our air mattress underneath her and I think it will be fine.

Stay at home mommy

2009-08-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

I gave notice to work today.

I have been struggling with the decision to continue working part time (which is usually 3 days a week) or to be a full time stay at home mom ever since returning to work in June. After a lot of soul searching and discussion with just about every woman I know, I have decided to stay home with Emma. She is going to be small for such a short time, I don't want to miss any of it. She is teething already and is 14lbs 13oz at 5 months. I can't believe how fast the time is flying. It seems like yesterday she first smiled at me, and now she is laughing up a storm. I am having such a good time with her. We love to sing and dance and play together. When I am at work, all I can think about is being home with her, and when I am home and have to work the next day, all I can think about is how much I don't want to leave her. Our day care is fine, but I just miss her. Financially, we should be fine. With day care costs, my salary barely brings home much extra. If things do get tight, Shawn's boss will let him do a couple hours of over time. I don't want him to have to do that, but it is nice to know there is that option. My boss also said that she would love to have me per diem a few days a month, if she could create that position. It would be great to be able to keep my hands in clinical practice a little bit.

I am just so glad the decision is made! I've been debating for so long, it's good to be done. Of course I had to give 2 months notice (better than the 4 months from my last job!) so I still have a lot of time.

Now I have to get moving on finding some mom's groups/activities to join so I don't get bored out of my gourd after the novelty wears off.

First Camping Trip

2009-08-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

We took Emma camping to Cooper's Rock a few weeks ago and she did pretty well. Shawn's mom, Nora, brother Bill, his girlfriend Monica, Desi, and Ella joined us. Bill, Monica, Emma, and I went out on Friday afternoon to set up camp, and the rest of the family joined us after work. It's about 3 1/2 hours away from home, so the whole party wasn't together until after 9pm. We tried pretty hard to keep Emma's sleep routine. Unfortunately, we were not able to be at the campground with electricity at the campsites, so our air mattress was barely inflated. Shawn and I slept with one of our crash pads under a partially inflated mattress and Emma slept on a firm pillow above our heads. I woke up a million times in the night to check on her.

The next day, we had breakfast burritos with eggs, bacon, and cheese, and headed out to the boulders. Shawn, Bill, and Desi did great; even Monica climbed. (She actually did better on her first time outdoor bouldering than anyone we have ever taken!) I sprained my ankle the week before, so was out of climbing commission. It was hot, but fairly comfortable in the forest, and we had a good time. We had fantastic steak skewers (thanks Des!), chili lime corn on the cob, and grilled pineapple for dinner, and smore's for dessert.

Aside from the unfortunate incident of Nora's car breaking down, getting towed, and having to leave her behind to come home later on Sunday night to get it fixed, we had a good time. Oh yeah, it rained on Saturday night and we didn't bring things inside before going to bed, so that sucked too ;) I look forward to going again when it cools down a bit more. We did our best to protect against mosquitos, but they still got most of us. Emma was covered most of the time so she was pretty safe.

Her own room

2009-07-31T06:44:00.001-07:00

My baby girl has transitioned into her crib in her own room.

I wasn't ready for that yet, but Emma told me she was. The last few weeks, she had been waking up 2-4 times a night in her bassinet by our bed. I would hear her start to fuss and then pull her into bed with me to feed, fall back asleep, and wake to put her back when I felt her detach. Then on Sunday, when we were having a hard time settling her into the bassinet, Shawn got the brilliant idea to put her down in her crib to rest until she was really ready for sleep. She fell asleep without a fuss and didn't wake to eat for 4 hours. She has been sleeping in her crib for the past 4 nights and only gets up twice. I am a much better mommy, midwife, and wife with a solid chunk of 4-5 hours of sleep as opposed to 2-3. She wakes up around 12-1am, I go into her room to feed her, then go back to bed. She wakes again around 4 and Shawn brings her to me. I feed her in bed and then just keep her with us until we wake for the day between 6-8. Not only do we get much more sleep now, we get to wake up with her smiling at us.

We are going camping this weekend with Shawn's family to our favorite climbing/camping spot, Cooper's Rock, WV. We'll see how baby girl does on her first camping trip! I sprained my ankle on Sunday so don't anticipate much hiking or climbing on my end, but it should be fun none the less.

Four months old

2009-07-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

Look at those blue eyes!

Emmaline is four months old now. She has found her feet and is pretty close to getting her toes into her mouth. Everything else is making it's way into her mouth as she gets better control of her hands. It is amazing to watch her advance every day. She is getting good at grabbing rattles (and mommy's hair) and webble-wobbling back and forth. She rolled over twice a few weeks ago, and hasn't since then. Her smiles and laughs are amazing. I love it when she sees me and smiles, it fills my heart with incredible joy. I knew I would love my baby, but I had no idea how much. This is truly the most awesome thing I have ever experienced.

Shawn is such a good daddy too. He is upstairs singing her to sleep right now. I love seeing her in his arms. He's been doing a good job when I have to work my 12 hour shifts, and she has even been asleep by the time I get home a few times.

I do miss her sleeping through the night. It's been about a month of sleeping 2-4 hour stretches and I think it's her new normal. I know you can start some non breast milk at 4 months and maybe it will buy me some sleep, but I still hesitate. I don't know if I am ready to move on to that yet. She is starting to show some interest in food. She likes to sit on our lap while we eat and has been watching us put food in our mouths, but I'm not going to push it.

We took her to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware a few weeks ago and it was super cute. She didn't care too much for the water, but the pictures are pretty fun! The water was too cold, so we just let her feel the sand on her feet and let the water just touch her toes.

Emma's first swim

2009-07-06T17:35:00.000-07:00

Our friend's Pranay and Elizabeth have moved to Baltimore with their daughter Zivia who is 5 weeks younger than Emma. Their townhouse has a fantastic pool that we took Emma and Zivia to. Zivia was not at all pleased with her swim, but Emma seemed to have a good time. Unfortunately, Shawn was at work and couldn't go so he is very sad about missing Emma's "first" of anything. He is off this week though so we should be able to go again soon.

Cold, teething, or hating mommy back at work.

2009-06-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

Emma has stopped sleeping through the night.

I treasured every minute of our 4-10 hours of sleep at night, but now it is gone. She is now sleeping from about 9-12, up for a feed, and then up every 2 hours until 7. I can't tell if she is still trying to adjust to occasional day care days, or if her snuffles are really a cold that she isn't shaking, or if the hand chewing and drooling are pre-teething signs that she is uncomfortable with. She has also been super fussy at bedtime again, broadcasting her exhaustion by wailing. We swaddle her up, sway/rock her to sleep, then 20-40 minutes later she is screaming again. It is taking 2-3 cycles to get her down at night now. Last night we gave her gas drops, then tylenol drops, and it seemed to help. She gave me a 3 hour block then a 4 hour block of sleep, so it was an improvement. Today, she has been sleeping most of the day and her snot is yellowish/green. I hope if this is a cold she has been brewing, that it is finally peaking so it can go away! When she wakes up, we are going to go to the health food store and pick up some homeopathic teething drops. I hate to see her so uncomfortable. I have some teething rings in the fridge now. It feels early for her to be teething, but what do I know!

She is awfully cute when she chews on her hands though...

Back to work

2009-06-16T07:09:00.001-07:00

Last week was my first week back to work. I cried my eyes out dropping Emma off at daycare and was quite a mess during my clinic day. My brain was not all there and I was not as thorough as I usually pride myself on being. I just wanted to be home with Emma, singing to her, watching her track on objects, and learn to manipulate her world. The next shift was at my teen clinic where the staff threw me a welcome back/congratulations on the new baby party. It was lovely and helped ease some of my longing to be with my baby. They even kept the schedule a little bit light for me so I could get home to her early.

I know I'm supposed to be a modern day woman who has a career and is a great mom at the same time, but I just want to be home with her. On Friday, we went to baby and me yoga at the studio I did my prenatal yoga at, and it felt so good to be there. There was another mom I met while pregnant and we got to meet each others babies. It made me want to be able to do those kinds of things all the time, not just on days off.

We bought Emma a few more toys on Sunday, and Shawn was able to place one of her new rattles in her hand. She grabbed onto it, and actually pulled it into her mouth. She is completely tracking on objects now, even moving her whole head against gravity. She is tolerating tummy time for longer stretches. I think we made it for 2 minutes today without fussing, and she is holding her head up beautifully. Last night, she turned herself halfway over, and then back onto her back. Shawn was laying on the quilt with her and I was walking up the stairs, so we both saw her do it. It's all these firsts that I hate to think about missing while at work. Between my part-time status and daycare, it's not like I am bringing home much money! I do love what I do though, I will give it a little more time. You'll just have to put up with my whining a bit more :)

Emma laughed

2009-06-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

Emma is almost 3 months old. I can't believe how much she has changed. She laughed for the first time the other night. It was one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. When Shanti and Mira came to visit us, Shanti taught me some dance moves to nursery rhymes to do with Emma. I was doing her favorite "one for the money" and on "four to goooo" when I wiggled her arms, she giggled. She did it four more times, smiling and kicking her feet in anticipation of the big finish, so I know it wasn't a fluke. Shawn got to see her do it too and is just as thrilled as me.

I took her to Day Care for the first time this week and it tore me up. I cried as soon as I walked out the the door. It was only for about 4 hours but it was terrible. I go back to work next week. It will only be 2-3 days a week, but I am dreading the time lost with her. I am seriously tempted to stay home with her, but I owe it to myself and my job to try to work for a while. Shawn says we can probably make it work on one salary, we'll just have to give up some luxuries. Staying home with Emma is worth giving up the maids, right? Right? I know. Priorities :).

Two weeks in Sunny California

2009-05-22T07:43:00.000-07:00

We just got back from two weeks in California and boy to we want to move back!

Traveling with a baby was an adventure. Two weeks worth of baby stuff, plus climbing stuff, plus our stuff, is a lot of stuff.

Our first stop was to stay with George, Jen, and Lucinda where we became Godparents at a Welcoming Ceremony. Lucy absolutely loved Emma. She would get a very concerned look on her face when Emma cried, and cried herself when Emma left the room. She kept trying to pet her, and Emma didn't care. The ceremony was very nice, and Shawn and I are honored to have been chosen Godparents.

We then went to my sister's house in Atwater for the night, thinking it would put us closer to Yosemite than Concord. We were wrong! But we did get to meet Emily Elizabeth when she was 6 days old, so that was exciting. The cousins are 4 weeks apart, but since Emily was born 9 lbs 12 oz and 18 inches long, they were pretty close in size. Mary and I spent the evening breastfeeding our daughters while Shawn chased after Tommy.

We headed out of Atwater trusting our GPS named "Jane" to get us safely and swiftly to Yosemite. We knew we were in trouble when she had us turn on to Chowchilla Mountain Road and we saw a sign that read, "No access to Yosemite." But Jane had never been wrong before, so we kept driving. Emma was freaking out in the backseat and would not take the bottle from me. When the road turned to dirt and the next sign read, "Road closed from November to May, End county maintenance," we knew that Jane had led us astray. Unfortunately, we had neither cell service nor a map, and every time we asked Jane to recalculate a route, it would get worse. We turned around and eventually found a man in his garden and he got us on track. Never say men won't ask for directions, Shawn did it twice on this trip! Finding the condo was almost as much fun as finding the way to Yosemite, but we made it and it was worth it.

The condo was everything a condo in Yosemite should be from the snowshoes above the mantle to the Brown Bear toilet paper holder. We settled in, cooked dinner, and had a quite evening. Shawn was even able to climb a boulder just past the parking lot. Shawn climbed a little the next day, but I was pretty useless either climbing or spotting, what with the breastfeeding, diaper changing, and tending to other Emma related needs. Craig came the next evening and Shawn had a better climbing/spotting partner than Emma and me.

Tara and Chris's wedding was wonderful. Tara was radiant, Chris was beaming, and the setting was beautiful. I am so happy for the two of them. Shawn was a groomsman and I spent the whole ceremony bouncing Emma with Binky in hand in case she peeped. She did a good job and I was able to mostly pay attention the wedding. The day was hard though because Shawn had wedding duties leaving the bulk of Emma care to me. By 3 pm I was pooped and we still had a few hours to go. I don't know how single parents do it!

The next day was Mother's Day and we all went to brunch at the Wawona hotel. I greatly enjoyed my first Mother's Day and proudly displayed my beautiful daughter to everyone. I got a carnation and being the newest mother, lead our party of 18 into the dining room. Emma and Shawn were too distracted with the trip and the wedding to get me a present, but we didn't get our own mother's anything either, so I don't blame them.

After brunch, we made our way back to the Bay Area to meet Toni, David, Brooke, and Brooke's grandma Mary for dinner in Jack London Square. It was wonderful to see them and to show Emma off. We had a lovely dinner. There was another new mom at the table next us and we breastfed and bounced our babies for most of the evening, occasionally handing the babies off to another so we could eat a little something. After dinner we took Brooke back to San Francisco and stayed with her for a few days. It is always so great to be in the city, especially when we get to hang out with Brooke. We went to the new California Academy of Sciences, shopped cute baby boutiques and consignment shops, hung out and talked, and even had Sushi delivered.

Then it was on to Livermore for the last few days with my family. Emily had filled out a bit since we saw her the previous week and it was nice to spend time with everyone. Katie came down from UC Davis for a few hours and got to meet Emmaline and Emily. We had nice family dinners, played with Lily and Tommy, and I even went to Dad's middle school production of Jekyll and Hyde, (which was very cute!) Mary, Emily, Brian, Tommy, Shawn, Emma and Itook a day trip to Castle Rock for some climbing/hiking. Tommy had a great time crawling and falling all over the place, and Shawn got some good climbing in. Mary wins the hard core mom award for breastfeeding while hiking at 2 weeks postpartum. They were really good sports and we all had fun. Dad let Shawn and I drive his cute convertible Smart car to a fantastic breakfast with Dad and Alyson. You just can't get Linguisa in Maryland.

The trip was great and as always, made us homesick. I really hope we can find a way to get back. There is so much more to draw us to the west coast, and not a whole lot to keep us in Maryland. We love our home, but it's just a house. We can be happy in another house, right? It's our family and our stuff that make it a home. We'll see what we can come up with in the next year. I'd like to have some money saved up and be able to rent our house until the market picks up enough to make a better profit. Then maybe we'll rent in California until we are sure where we want to be, or maybe get a VA loan and buy soon to take advantage of the low rates and prices now. I don't know....

Two months old today!

2009-05-11T18:41:00.000-07:00

My little one is two months old today. The time has flown by. Emma is cooing, smiling, and tracking like crazy. She is sleeping anywhere from 4-7 hours a night and breastfeeding is going well. She still gets super fussy in the evenings, but we have been giving her simethicone drops for gas and it seems to be helping. It's amazing how different Emma looks every day. One day her face is chubby and cute, and the next day she is long and lean. Most of our pictures are when she is sleeping, which is super cute, but we keep trying to catch her smile. In her alert pictures, she always looks the same, mouth open and wide eyed. She is super cute and we love her. We are in California now for Tara's wedding and visiting family and friends along the way. (more on that later...)

New version of lazy weekends

2009-04-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

Before we went to bed on Saturday night, Shawn said he couldn't wait to sleep in on Sunday morning. I looked at Emma and said, "Honey, Emma doesn't know what weekends are." Sure enough, my little love was awake at 7:00am. I fed her for a while, and then let Shawn have some daddy daughter time while I made blueberry pancakes. We ate them on our patio before it started raining. Emma wore one of the new outfits her Grandparents bought for her. The rest of the day went about the same as every other day; sleep, wake to get a clean diaper, breastfeed, sleep again, with a little bit of quite alert time in between.

She smiled at me the other morning. As she was waking, I said good morning, and she gave me a big smile. I don't know if they are supposed to be smiling yet, but it sure looked like she did. Aside from having a cold and not being able to get better because I am constantly caring for Emma, things are going well. I am getting more confident in my mothering skills, and am absolutely in love with my little girl. She is focusing on my face really well, I get lost in her eyes. And when she falls asleep curled up on my chest, I don't care that there are a million things I could be doing while she sleeps.

Look at my little crazy haired girl :)

My little girl is one month old

2009-04-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

Emma and her parents.

This is Emma in her Easter outfit.

We are doing much better. Breastfeeding is pretty much under control, she isn't killing my nipples anymore, which is fantastic! She is letting me sleep for 2-4 hours at a time at night followed by a few 2 hour naps throughout the night. Thanks to Shanti, we have discovered that she sleeps pretty well in her car seat. We have two, thanks to Leah and my co-worker Allison so we keep one in the bedroom and the other is for the car. Emma was 7 pounds 9 ounces almost 2 weeks ago, but I am sure she weighs more now. Her ears look bigger to me. She has been getting fussy in the evenings, and eats constantly from around 7-11pm. Unfortunately Shawn doesn't get much happy time with her before she starts her fussiness because he gets home between 4 and 5.

My parents are visiting and are being great. I haven't had to cook, do dishes, or fold laundry for many days. Alyson is going to make a few meals to freeze for us. I have been able to take a shower in the mornings every day, and have even had a few naps. Emma loves her grandparents. Alyson is really good at putting Emma to sleep, and Dad has been singing the Asari Asara song that I remember him singing to my sisters, and I know he sang to me. It's very cute. They bought us a swing for Emma and she seems to like it a lot. It buys us a few minutes to take care of ourselves.

It is 8:00 and she is mid fussy, so I must return to being the human pacifier!

The first two weeks

2009-04-01T17:34:00.000-07:00

I was so wrapped up in preparing for labor and birth, and warding against complications like epidurals, inductions, and c-sections, that it didn't occur to me that we would have any problems postpartum. I was so proud of my labor and birth, I thought everything else would be just as smooth. Wrong. Breastfeeding was a little tender for the first day, and I just thought I wasn't getting Emma to open wide enough to get all of my nipple in her mouth. She was feeding every 2 hours for almost an hour each time. By Friday night, my nipples were cracked and bleeding, and I had the tell-tale red streaks on my breasts of mastitis. It felt like someone was driving red hot needles through the center of my nipples. I got on antibiotics, but cried all Friday night through Saturday morning. I pumped a little bit to give my breasts a break for a feed or two, but I was a big mess by Saturday night. I had a lactation consult on Monday, but that was very far away. An old student called to see how I was doing and could tell that I was not okay. She works at a birth center in DC that has lactation teams that do home visits. She and a friend came over at 10:30 on Saturday night. They took one look at Emma and said, "Anne, she's tongue tied! Look at her frenulum." The little thing that connects the tongue to the floor of the mouth was actually connected to her lower jaw so she couldn't get her tongue out of her mouth. So for 4 days, she was chewing on my nipples every time she fed, and couldn't get satisfied. I pumped for all Saturday night through Monday morning.

At our lactation consult on Monday, she confirmed my friend's diagnosis. It is a quick procedure where they just snip the frenulum, most of the time it is done in the office. We went hopefully to our pediatrician that afternoon. Our doctor told us they didn't do the procedure in the office, but got us an appointment first thing the next morning with an ENT doc in Laurel. I continued pumping and tried to give Emma the breast every third feed so she wouldn't forget what she was supposed to be doing. Tuesday morning we met with the ENT who started telling us that he liked to do the procedure under gas anesthesia and that someone from the office would call with an appointment for Friday or early next week at the latest. I almost burst into tears right then and there. I said, "She can't breastfeed, I have mastitis and this needs to be fixed as soon as possible!" His reply was, "You can just pump. I know this seems like an emergency to you, but it really is an elective procedure." Elective?!? I can't feed my child! His compromise was to get us an appointment on Thursday with another doctor who does the quick snip in office. I cried the whole way home.

When we got home, I asked Shawn to call around to find where that doctor was and to get us in sooner. 20 minutes later we were back in the car and headed to the Glen Burnie office. They were very nice there and the nurse was quite apologetic because she was the one who made us the appointment with the doctor who wouldn't help us. The new guy came in, talked a bit, and did a quick snip. He said it hurts about as much as getting a shot. Shawn held Emma, I don't think I could have done it. We went home hopeful that our woes were over.

I tried to breastfeed all Tuesday, but the sharp pains were back in my nipples. We went back to the lactation consultant on Wednesday, and she diagnosed me with thrush. She gave me some nipple shields to give my nipples a break, and told me to call my midwives to get some antifungal nipple cream for me, and the pediatrician to get some antifungal for Emma's mouth. So now, I am almost done with the antibiotics, Emma and I are continuing our antifungals for another week, and we are weaning ourselves off of the nipple shields.

Things are much better now. Emma has been sleeping 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours stretches at night (except for last night when she fed just about every hour from 12 to 5 am) and is feeding well. We are all much happier. She is up to 7 pounds now and actually has a few outfits that she fits into. Shawn is back at work and we are trying to find a rhythm. I am trying to sleep when she sleeps, but sometimes I have to eat! All in all, I am settling into motherhood and I like it.

Labor was intense

2009-03-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

When last we spoke, I was sitting on a birthing ball in my kitchen and the contractions were just starting to make themselves known. My labor was fairly short, but very intense and I am pleased with how it went. After some time on the ball in the kitchen, I decided to try to get some sleep. I laid down with Shawn for a little while, but every time I dozed off, a contraction would come and I would have to wake up and breath through it. I gave up and took the ball into the guest bedroom where I hoped to be able to lean on the bed and rest between them.

By 1am, I wasn't able to keep myself calm through them and I woke Shawn up to help me. Hypnobirthing was working fairly well, but I needed help. Shawn put on our relaxation music and rubbed my back while I sat on the ball and leaned on the bed. By 3am things were really intense. I could hear my toning during the contractions getting deeper and more guttural. When I had to vomit, I thought to myself, "Anne, you sound like you are in good active labor. It's time to go to the birth center." Shawn called the midwife who was in another delivery so didn't call us back for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, I was struggling to keep calm and not looking forward to the car ride. The only way I could deal with the contractions, was sitting on the birthing ball with Shawn rubbing my back. The car ride was as awful as I imagined it would be, and I moaned through every contraction while trying to get into a better position. Shawn kept trying to relax me, but it was pretty useless. Once we got to the birth center, it was another challenge to get from the car to the center. I remember squatting in the elevator while Shawn held the "door open" button and said, "Baby, can we just get out of the elevator?" Once inside, I saw with relief that Jen was filling the jacuzzi, and there was a birthing ball waiting for me. I fell onto the ball, and felt a little more in control.

After starting my IV for penicillin to treat my GBS and listening to the baby's heartbeat, Jen checked my cervix. I was so proud to be 5 cm, halfway there! I got in the tub hoping for some good relief, but was disappointed to still feel the contractions just as strongly. I just withdrew even more completely into myself, chanted my birth affirmations, and OOooooooooed through each contraction.

I was in a very interesting state of consciousness. I was aware of Shawn talking to me, but I couldn't answer him. I remember thinking very clear thoughts between contractions, from the mundane like what happened on a recent TV show, to wishing there was a dimmer switch on the bathroom lights. Then when the contraction would hit, I would just start moaning until it went away. I tried to keep my body as limp as possible and just go with my labor, but once in a while I would have a really intense contraction and panic. My moans would become higher pitched and I would try to run away from them and tense my whole body. Shawn was with me the whole time, rubbing my back and encouraging me. When my moans would get too high, he would tell me to lower the pitch. When I got too tense, he would help me to relax. I remember him telling me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me, I just couldn't vocalize anything back.

When I got to 7cm, the urge to push hit me. I couldn't help but bear down with some of the contractions. Jen said my cervix was stretchy enough to handle the limited pushing, so I just listened to my body and went with it. A little while later, Jen declared me fully dilated and gave me permission to push as needed. I seemed to feel the baby descending, so I checked myself and felt a big, fat anterior lip of cervix. That's when the cervix is open everywhere except at the top. I told Jen I thought there was a lip and asked her to reduce it for me. Holy Crap that hurt!!! The rest of labor was intense, but mainly felt like extreme tightening of my uterus and terrible back pain, but having my lip reduced hurt so bad it made me want to vomit. I was trying to push as she pushed up the bit of cervix, but it wasn't very effective. By that time, Kimla came to relieve Jen, but since I was so close, they both stayed with me. Jen said the words that I have told so

many of my patients, "Push where it hurts the most. Don't run away from it." It turns out that Emma was OP. That means she was facing up, instead of down, and makes pushing much harder, especially for a first timer. I had to get out of the tub to push more effectively. That's about when the cliched phrase of, "I don't want to do this anymore" came out of my mouth and everyone laughed at me.

I tried walking and lunging to turn her little head, and ended up squatting for most of the rest of pushing. Once things felt like they were moving well, I got onto the bed in a side lying position laying in Shawn's lap. Feeling Emma's head moving down, and seeing her head bulging through my perineum was surreal. I have seen it so many times from the other end of the bed, looking down and seeing my own baby emerge from my body was incredible. Once her head was out, I

forgot that I had to keep pushing. She had a nuchal cord that was too tight to reduce, so Jen delivered through it and brought the baby right up to my chest. Shawn and I held her together and we rubbed her little back until she got nice and pink and had better tone. Shawn was crying so much, his tears were falling into my eyes. I asked, "Shawn, what do we have?" and spread her little legs to reveal that we had a daughter. That brought on a whole new wave of tears. We cut her cord together and just snuggled while Jen tried to put my labia back together.

We had a few hours of new family bonding time before we were ready to go home. We breastfed well (or so I thought, but that's another story) got dressed, packed up, and were home 5 hours after Emmaline Grace was born. There was no cell service in the birth center, so the car ride home was for calling family. I was so proud of myself for having gone through labor and birth without medication and to have been in the birth center. Hypnobirthing worked pretty well and I was pleased. I wouldn't say it was "an easy, comfortable birth," but it was manageable. We have a beautiful daughter who has not let me write this birth story until now that she is 2 weeks old. I hope to update my blog soon with the first 2 week woes, which were much more complicated than I thought they would be! Things are better now, she is feeding well and gaining weight. I am thoroughly in love with my little girl, and Shawn is a great daddy. He went back to work today and Emma has been crying a lot more today. I think she misses him.

There are great pictures both on Shawn's blog smseifert.blogspot.com and his photo site smseifert.zenfolio.com

My water broke!

2009-03-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

Just as I was starting to get anxious about being 40 weeks and 4 days, my water broke this evening. I had really hoped to be in good active labor before that happened, but with the barometric pressure today, I didn't stand a chance. I was lamenting the weather and wanting my Spring baby when I pulled up to the house after a difficult prenatal yoga session, and saw the blossoms on the Bradford Pear's just starting to open. I stopped dead in my driveway and said, "My baby is coming!" and then in true prego fashion, burst into tears. I was home for maybe half an hour and started journaling a little. There was a birthing book I wanted to look at upstairs in the baby's room. When I was about 3 steps into the room, I felt a gush of fluid, clamped my legs together, and shuffled into the bathroom to sit on the toilet. Luckily Shawn came home about 5 minutes later and was able to rescue me with a wet washcloth and some Depends. I called the midwife and am waiting for good active labor. I tried to sleep a little bit, but laying in bed makes the contractions worse. I am much more comfortable sitting on the birthing ball (also known as an exercise ball for those in the regular world.) I am going to try to sleep leaning on the bed while sitting on the ball now. I am hoping for a good labor and birth, I am just a little sorry that it is going to take a heck of a lot longer than I had hoped. Next post will be my birth announcement! I can't believe I'm going to be a mom so soon.

A Due Date is only an estimate

2009-03-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

Here's me last night.

Tomorrow is my due date, but only about 6% of women give birth on their due dates so I'm not holding my breath. I went back to work this week, no use wasting my maternity leave waiting for a baby. Fortunately, the scheduler has been kind to me and I haven't had any L&D shifts. Today, while reviewing charts at our private office with one of my colleagues, we had a phone call from a lady who is 31 weeks pregnant asking when she should go out on maternity leave. I looked at Katie and said, "I'm 40 weeks tomorrow and I'm still working. I don't think I can keep from snapping at her. Can you handle this call please?" Turns out the lady works at Jiffy Lube so her belly will be getting in the way of oil changes sooner rather than later so it wasn't a totally insane question. I probably still would have told her that I delivered a baby at 37 weeks so suck it up! Good thing I know my limits, huh? :) Shawn also got the flexibility to take 2 weeks off whenever baby comes so we are both good on the leave front.

Last week, my friend Kathy did a belly cast for me. I think it turned out great. It was funny though when she asked if I wanted breast and belly or just belly because both gets a little personal. I laughed at her because we went to midwifery school together and practiced pelvic exams on each other. It doesn't get much more personal than that! Her baby is about 2 so this is both of our casts side by side. Mine is the one on the right.

I'm definitely feeling more uncomfortable. I am now sleeping with 6 pillows; 3 under my head for the heartburn, one under my belly, one behind my back, and one with an extra blanket stuffed inside between my legs. Shawn likes to reach over and pat my head now and then as he can no longer find me to snuggle. The last two days I've been feeling really nauseous and gassy. I've taken 4 doses of Tums today alone. This morning I had oatmeal to try to start things off nice and bland, and still had heartburn by 10. My back is aching, but mainly the upper part, and I am very tired all the time. I am still getting up 3-5 times a night to pee, it's just taking longer to get back to sleep because I have to rearrange my multitude of pillows every time.

At my prenatal visit yesterday, the midwife was telling me about one her patients who lost her baby at 38 weeks. People often forget that I am pregnant too and that shop talk is not always the best! So this morning around 4am when I got back from peeing and realized I hadn't felt the baby move for 2 potty runs, I began to panic a little. I poked my belly a bit to wake baby up, and then gave up, grabbed my stethoscope, and lay on the bathroom floor listening to the baby's heartbeat for a while. Then I couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and sorted through more baby clothes. I went back to sleep around 5:30, before my alarm went off at 6:30 for my morning clinic day. I'm pretty tired.

Shawn took this picture two weeks ago and I think it's just beautiful. I was feeling very big, but not too uncomfortable yet.

I am looking forward to baby being here and getting more of my body back. I think I am as ready as I'm going to be. I continue to stay calm and not rush things so as to reduce the stress hormones that can inhibit labor. I am getting bombarded with phone calls of, "are you in labor yet?" and "is the baby here yet" and am practicing my calm, relaxation techniques so as not to be too stressed and snap at everyone. Like I would really have the baby and not tell anyone! People also think that babies just fall out and forget that I will be in labor for a long time so everyone will have plenty of warning. Average labor for a first time mom is about 14 hours. I think I'll be fine on the notification side of things.

Shawn and I continue to practice our relaxation techniques and guided imagery/hypnosis and I think it's going well. I am able to put myself into a very deep relaxation and have been able to mentally remove my back pain. I recite birth affirmations every day, and am feeling confident that I can have an unmedicated birth.

38 weeks and a snow day

2009-03-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

It snowed last night and into most of the day today. I'd like to point out that it is March. What happened to my Spring Baby? There are buds on the Bradford Pear trees, but it's in the low 20's and there's about 5 inches of snow on the ground. My acupuncturist canceled my appointment today because she didn't want me out in the snow, and I am not going to my prenatal yoga class tonight because I would have to shovel my driveway to get there. I told Shawn it might be good because maybe it would put me into labor, be he insisted that one fall on the ice is all I'm allowed this pregnancy. I'll have to do my DVD at home instead.

I'm having a bit of a dilemma about what to do about work. This is my last scheduled week of work, but I am afraid the baby is going to come later than that and then I will have wasted a few weeks of my maternity leave waiting for the baby instead of mothering the baby. The easiest thing to do would be to take a few of my boss/assistant boss's shifts because they can always take administrative time, but they are both doing long L&D shifts early in the next week. There is no way I am volunteering for a night shift at 39+ weeks pregnant! Plus, Shawn is already committed to taking his 2 week vacation/paternity leave starting next week. On one hand, I want the baby to hurry up and come when it is convenient, but on the other, I trust nature to know what to do and when the best time is for labor to start. I'll just have to do what women have been doing for centuries and let the baby come when it is ready.

Shawn gave me a prenatal spa day a couple of weeks ago. I had a prenatal massage, a facial, and then a pedicure. It was great. Ever since we found this spa in a new area of town, I've been looking forward to my pregnancy and getting the "Modern Momma" spa package. Here's me getting my toes done. Note the rather coma like expression on my face.

Here are the requisite belly photos. They are from last week and I swear I am already bigger. I think we will take more tonight.

This is Julius and me watching TV. I think he likes his new perch. You should see when the baby kicks him, it's very cute.

Laundry at 3:30 in the morning.

2009-02-20T01:01:00.000-08:00

Is it still nesting if I wake up at 3:30 in the morning and feel compelled to get up and start washing the baby's clothes, sheets, and blankets, or have I crossed over into panic mode?

I was 37 weeks 4 hours ago, and anxiety has hit. Shawn and I got in a stupid fight on the way to our hypnobirthing class because I am freaking out about the things that still need to get done/purchased to be ready for the baby, and Shawn is having parental anxiety on top of some serious professional issues. Usually one of us is fairly sane during an argument and we can rationally talk the other down to find the real problem before it escalates, but last night we were both pretty fragile. I predict a good number of those kinds of fights in the next few months. Luckily we are pretty good at talking things out and are fine, but blech.

For the last few nights I have been waking up to pee and then having a hard time going back to sleep because I start thinking about all the things I still need to do. Two nights ago I couldn't sleep because I realized we only have a single pair of socks for the baby! Are socks really that important? Probably not, but regardless, I couldn't sleep. When I woke up a little bit ago and realized I was heading down the same path I went ahead and got up to sort the laundry. I started to try to clean the car seat and stroller that my cousin gave me, but it's on the sunporch and it's 27 degrees outside. I think that can wait till the morning :) I feel better for starting the laundry, and Shawn and I are going shopping on Saturday to fill in the major blanks. I'm glad I'm not working in the morning :)

Baby Shower

2009-02-16T10:01:00.000-08:00

I had my baby shower yesterday and it was great. I was surprised at how many people came, and overwhelmed with the presents for my little one. Everything is just so cute! We got tons of onesies, and the little sheep are too cute. Shawn has pictures on his zenfolio site (smseifert.zenfolio.com). Leah did a fantastic job organizing it. We had yummy food, fun games, and cute prizes. One of my midwife friends knitted the cutest little booties, and another got me a bib that says, "I'm special...a midwife helped me out." There was a great mix of people there, my cousin Leah, my sister-in-law Desiree, her daughter Ella, some friends from the teen clinic I work at, 2 former classmates, a current co-worker, a future co-worker, a former patient now friend, my neighbors, and an ER resident and her husband, a hand fellow (who stayed in the kitchen and helped Shawn.)

This is Roxann having guessed how big around my belly was within about 3 millimeters!

My friend Kathy is hopefully going to come over sometime next week and do a belly cast for me. Next Saturday Shawn has a spa day scheduled for a prenatal massage, a facial, and a pedicure. I can't wait!

I am in full blown nesting mode now. You should have seen the frenzied house cleaning that went on yesterday. I had the sudden urge to wash all the blankets, including my down comforter. I was also on hands and knees swifiting under the beds, and organizing all the closets in the house. It's a little bit crazy. Now that we actually have baby clothes, we need to wash them and find them homes in the nursery. That's on my to do list today, but I did so much yesterday that I have just been resting all day. I will muster up some energy to go to prenatal yoga tonight though. Gotta try to stay somewhat fit. I can't wait to be able to climb again.

36 weeks on Thursday!

2009-02-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

I am truly feeling "great with child."

Our baby is now big enough that we can hear the heartbeat with a stethoscope! Shawn heard it first and then when he passed the ears to me, it sounded like the heartbeat was in the 180s or so, which is pretty fast. Then as I listened a little longer, it went back down into the 150s and I knew I had just heard an accel. It's one of the things we look for to assess for fetal well-being so it was an exciting moment for the midwife in me. Being able to hear it this easily was also nice after I slipped down the back stairs after an ice storm a couple of weeks ago so I could hear that baby was still doing well. (In my defense, the ice was gone from the front of the house and I forgot that the back of the house does not get as much sun.)

Shawn and I are doing a childbirth prep method called hypnobirthing, which puts mom in a deep relaxation for labor and birth to help cope with and facilitate labor. It's a lot of guided imagery and self/partner induced hypnosis. We have had 2 classes now and are practicing as much as we can at home. In class last week the instructor led us through a session that was 30 minutes long but we all perceived it as about 10. I think it's going to go well for us. Last night Shawn led me through a practice and I was able to get pretty deeply relaxed fairly quickly. I attended a number of hypnobirthing births when I was a midwife at the Maternity Center, and the families were pretty successful. I am hopeful that it will go well for us.

I am getting anxious about the baby actually coming home now. We still don't have too much prepared. We have gotten a number of blankets for presents, but we have no clothes or much of anything else yet. My shower is on Sunday so I am sure we will do lots of shopping after that to fill in the gaps. The nursery is almost done. There are a few more wall hangings to go up, and we need some shelves above the changing table and closet organizers, but then we are good.

We have been reading parenting/baby books and have a parenting class on Wed night. I feel at a little disadvantage because I never did much in the way of babysitting and my siblings are so much younger than me, I am worried about my mothering ability. Shawn took care of his brother a lot, so he has a little more confidence, but I am looking forward to Wed night! I know how to do the basics, like diaper changing and I am a darn good swaddler, but I am used to handing babies back to their parents when they start to fuss! Now I will be the parent!

My baby is a baby magnet

2009-01-25T17:53:00.000-08:00

Apparently my baby is a baby magnet. I have been so busy at work, and so very tired! My last two 12 hour shifts, I have delivered 3 babies each, and been very close to a 4th. Friday, I had a student on her last day of integration, which means she is ready to graduate now, so I let her do most of the work. It was great, but I still had to run around be there. My back hurt so bad by the time I got home. I wear a maternity support belt, but being on my feet and running around for 12 hours straight takes it's toll! It's especially bad on night shift. Luckily, I have my last night shift of the pregnancy on Tues. Maybe someone will take pity on me and I can have some sleep while I am there. Send some prayers! Of course with my recent track record, that won't happen...

What a difference 2 weeks make!

2009-01-19T10:29:00.001-08:00

Well gang, I'm 32 weeks pregnant which means 8 months to most people.

The fatigue has returned with a vengeance. I am super tired all the time and very much not looking forward to my night shift tonight. I don't know how I am going to function. I have been awake for about 4 hours today and can't wait for my nap. The baby is moving for much longer stretches now. I think it was almost a hour straight yesterday. It's great except when I am trying to go to sleep and the baby thinks it's fun to grind his or her little head against my bladder and then punch it a few times just in case I wasn't paying attention. It's quite fascinating to watch my belly roil and try to identify which body parts are cruising by. I am very pleased to report that my little one is vertex (head down) already and in a good position.

Shawn and I are making good progress on the nursery. The crib, dresser/changing table, and feeding chair are in place, and some wall hangings up. Here's the obligatory photo of the father-to-be putting the crib together .

We started registering for baby supplies. It's quite overwhelming. We began at Target because the baby section is at least manageable, and then did Babies-R-Us on Saturday. My cousin is giving us a bunch of necessities, which will be great. I have lists of things we need compiled from various books and friends, but it's still like learning a foreign language with all the baby lingo. Convertible car seats, travel systems strollers, air-flow bottles, organic cotton, sleep sacks, etc. It's enough to make my head spin.

Shawn and I begin our childbirth classes next week. We are doing Hypnobirthing and it's a 5 week course. We won't finish until I am 39 weeks pregnant, so we'll see how the baby feels about the timing. Then we have both a breastfeeding and parenting class mid February. We have been reading lots of pregnancy, parenting, baby care, and babyproofing our marriage books, but I still don't feel even the remotest bit prepared. I guess you can't ever truely prepare for somthing like this though. We promise to do our best!

Nursery Woes and Pregnancy Musings

2009-01-11T15:14:00.000-08:00

Here's me at 30 weeks.

Shawn was off last week. One of those use it or lose it vacation times. He really wanted to use that time to paint the nursery, since I was going to be working so much. We had gotten a bunch of paint samples from Lowes a few weeks ago, we just hadn’t made the final decision as to which one to go with. I wanted a soft sage, and Shawn wanted a brighter, more childlike color. We compromised with a fun limey green, which turned into mintchocolate chip once it hit the walls. I really didn’t like it, but Shawn had spent so much time on it, I felt bad. We tried to live with it for a few days, but I hated it even more. Then we bought a comfy chair for feedings, a chair and a half with ottoman, which turned out to be so big we had to take the door off the hinges to get it in the room. Then with this huge chair and ottoman, mint green walls, and my raging hormones, I ran out of the room and burst into tears. We went shopping the next day for a new color and now it looks great. It’s a nice, bright sage, softer, but still bright and childlike. We were smart this time and brought a carpet square, wall hanging, and fabric sample from the chair to the paint store to be sure we would be happy.

Here's the original color. It looked much more obnoxious in person.

And here's the new one. It looks much better in person.

Now that the paint is on the wall, there is some furniture in the room, and more on the way, we are feeling pretty good. I have been doing some great bonding with my baby the last few weeks. The movement is getting more personality. I can feel individual body parts and am having fun poking the foot and feeling it kick me back. All of my midwifery books talk about the psychological transformations that occur during pregnancy and the preparation for motherhood. It’s funny how I am totally normal. First trimester was very self centered, all the changes that were happening to me and my body was totally separate from the life I was growing. I knew I was pregnant, but it still didn’t feel very real. I kept scrutinizing every change as if to verify the pregnancy. I would almost chant, “I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant,” to keep it real for me.

Second trimester was hard because I felt like I should be bonding with my baby, and glowing and happy, but it still felt very distant. I would feel the movement and know it was the baby, but it still felt very alien. Other people were happier about my pregnancy than I was. I mean I was happy, don’t get me wrong, but I was just detached, like I was keeping the baby at arms length. I couldn’t get attached.

Now that I am truly into the third trimester, I am embracing this baby and the new life Shawn and I are going to have. I rub my belly all the time, and having fun showing it off to friends and coworkers. I don’t even mind when they rub my belly without asking. (Of course strangers haven’t done it yet and I think that may make me a little crazy.) I love having people feel kicks and seeing their faces light up when they really feel it. I’m happy. It’s nice. Shawn has been fantastic too, very attentive and loving. He has the cutest giggle when he feels the baby move.

Christmas and Second Christmas

2008-12-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

This year I worked a 12 hour day shift on Labor and Delivery for Christmas Eve. I was crazy busy with 3 new admissions and 3 births within about 4 hours. I had a student who was pretty good and was able to do some of the work for me, but I was beat by about 5pm. I waddle like a pregnant person when I am tired, and there was some definite waddling by the end of the day. I got home around 9 and Shawn and I got up at 5:30am to drive down to Leah's house in Southern Maryland. We were there by 8:20 and joined in the present opening. We brought gifts from my parents in addition to a few for each other and presents for the Haas/Detrick/Montoya crew. It was a lovely day of watching Olivia play with her new computer from Santa and other fun toys, and Andrew crawling around getting into everything. We had a nice prime rib with Yorkshire pudding (a real treat in a house with 2 celiac's,) mashed potatos, green bean casserole, and gravy. After a few naps and lots of nice visiting, we headed home so Shawn could sleep before working the next day. I spent yesterday sleeping and reading, it was fantastic.

Katrina and Randolph came over last night so we could have second Christmas today. We re-enacted Christmas Eve last night and Christmas morning today with stockings, breakfast, and of course more presents! I got some maternity clothes and kitchen gadgets, and Shawn got a new flash and camera bag. Today we had waffles with berry compote and whipped cream for breakfast followed by an all important nap. Then our friend Rob and his girlfriend Erica came over for Rock Band and dinner. It's been a nice extended Christmas. I have been very bah-humbug this year with so many things going on, it has been nice to just be with friends and family for a few restful days. We have one more day off which will start with breakfast burritos featuring applewood smoked bacon, green chile, New York Chedder, and flour tortillas from El Paso so it's gotta be a good day!

Belly update

2008-12-10T12:55:00.001-08:00

Here's me at almost 27 weeks. The baby is moving around like crazy now. I used to only be able to feel it at night when I was going to sleep and randomly throughout the day, but now it's a lot. My back is definitely starting to hurt now. It's funny, I complained to Mary about my back and she said, "get a maternity support belt." If I had a nickle for every time I said that to my patients, I would be rich. But did I remember it for me? No way. There are some things that I can be very clinical about and tap into my midwifery brain for, and others I am clueless. I guess that's why we have sisters, right?

I have been doing prenatal yoga, which is great. There is a class in Bethesda that I like to go to, but it is only on Monday nights and my work schedule is never set enough for me to go consistently. I do have a DVD that I have been doing at home. It's not as good, and definitely not as relaxing with my cats running around and laying on my yoga mat, but it's better than nothing. Without my rock climbing, I am feeling like a lump.

I am awfully tired, but other than that am okay. My belly button is pretty much gone, and I am oiling my belly every night to prevent stretch marks (fingers crossed.) We are no closer to names for a boy yet. We have tons for a girl, but the boys are eluding us. We still have some time. I am looking into a childbirth prep class called hypnobirthing which I have seen be very effective for patients in the past. We also went crib shopping last weekend. Things are still a long way from ready, but we are closer than we were!

Hardwood floors lead to disaster

2008-12-10T08:11:00.000-08:00

We decided on which room will be the nursery, and relocated the office stuff to the basement. The second step towards preparing our home for the new baby, was to pull up the nasty carpet upstairs and refinish the hardwood floors underneath. Sounds fairly simple, right?

Our floor company started last Monday and we moved out of our house and into the hospitality of our neighbors, Brooke and Oscar's home. Thursday morning brought the completion, and the floors look beautiful. We stayed away an extra day to let the fumes air out and moved back in on Friday night in time for my mom to come visit for the weekend. We slowly started putting the upstairs back together and things went smoothly until Sun night around 11. Shawn and I heard a soft crash somewhere below us, but couldn't identify it so went back to sleep. I got up to pee at 1:30am and heard water running downstairs. I thought maybe my mom was taking a shower, but she was asleep in the guest bedroom. I went downstairs and turned on the light in the kitchen to see water POURING from the light fixture. The ceiling was bulging, there was water all over the floor and flooding down into the basement. We turned the water main off, mopped up the mess, and went to bed with visions of thousands of dollars worth of damage and prayers that our homeowners insurance would cover it in our heads.

Shawn and I flipped a coin and decided that since he stayed home for the water heater explosion a few months ago, that it was my turn to handle the house disaster. I got up at 7:15 to call work and beg for coverage at my office hours, and began the day. My first call was to USAA to start a claim. Courtney was very nice, but of course made it sound like our coverage was limited and if there was any prior damage we were going to be screwed. She told me to call the plumber and get the extent of the damage before officially filing a claim. The plumber said they could be here the next day to which I explained the extent of the emergency and unacceptability of that plan. Two hours later, the plumber showed up. After exposing an 18" x 24" hole in the ceiling, he discovered that when the floor people replaced one of the boards in my closet, they pierced a water pipe. The crash was some drywall in the sub floor collapsing under the weight of 6 days of water accumulation! The floor people are taking responsibility of course, but now I have drywallers tearing out huge sections of damp drywall in my kitchen and another weeks worth of house disruptions.

The missing section of floor in the closet access panel.

The kitchen ceiling bulging.

The nails piercing the pipes.

One giant hole in the ceiling.

My kitchen :(

Oh yeah, and it's Christmas and we have no gifts, cards, tree, or lights up.

Thanksgiving with the Shackelfords (and some belly shots)

2008-11-28T06:28:00.001-08:00

Here are some belly photos first. These are two weeks old (at 23 + weeks), so I'll try to get some updated ones up soon. Shawn's flash is in the shop so he wants to wait for another photo shoot until his camera can do what he wants it to. He has a reputation to maintain :)

Yesterday we went to Brampton to celebrate Thanksgiving with Katrina and Randolph, his parent's Jane and Shack, and his grandmother Josephine. It was very pleasant. I made apple and pumpkin pies on Tuesday and we drove down to Orange, VA at 8am. We spent the day cooking and and talking. Since Katrina is in Minneapolis now, it was great to spend so much time together. One always has the best conversations in the kitchen! Dinner was fabulous starting with butternut squash soup and salad, then on to turkey brined overnight in many herbs and spices, mashed potatoes, stuffing (not stuffed in the bird so no salmonella,) gravy, acorn squash, spinach casserole, cranberry sauce and rolls.

Although I miss my own family, it was nice to be so welcomed at the Shackelfords. Unfortunately, Shawn has to work today so we were unable to stay the night at Brampton and hike. Hopefully it will be a slow day and he'll get to come home early.

Apparently, my ass is getting bigger...

2008-11-19T14:41:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is 24 weeks and I have been doing pretty well with my weight gain, about 10 pounds total. Over the last 2 weeks though, co-workers have been commenting on the size of my butt. Today's quote was, "I thought the belly was supposed to get bigger, not the backside." I have noticed that my clothes are fitting a little differently and I haven't been climbing as much as before, and we did take 2 vacations in 1 month, but seriously. Do people think that just because I am pregnant they have the liberty to say whatever they want about my body? I'm sure no one means for it to be malicious, but I can't help being a little offended.

Disney World

2008-11-14T18:31:00.000-08:00

Last week Shawn and I went to Disney World with Leah, Mark, Olivia and Andrew. Let's just say it was a interesting. It was the third time Shawn and I went, but being there with kids was a whole new experience. On one hand, it was fantastic to see things through the eyes of a four year old. Olivia was so excited to see the characters and reassured me that the Lilo we had breakfast with was the real Lilo, "for real Aunt Anne." On the other hand, she vacillated between frenzied joy and utter meltdown. While totally normal for a four year old, it was a little over whelming for a pregnant lady. It made me seriously doubt our ability to be good parents. Mark and Leah did a great job with her, but holy smokes it took a lot of energy just to witness it! Shawn will post pictures soon.

Shawn went on a quick climbing trip to Hueco Tanks this weekend and will be back on Sunday night. It's nice to have a little bit of time to regroup and get my home back together after being so busy. Work is still crazy and I am doing way more than 20 hours a week. I will definitely be more insistent about only working my 20 after the baby is born.

This baby is moving around like crazy now and I am 23 weeks. One more week and we reach viability if my little one makes an early appearance. I hope not, but it will be comforting to know. We are still so not ready, we are going to need the full 40 weeks. We are no closer to childcare than the last post, and the nursery is still a mostly empty room. I think it is also time to start thinking about childbirth classes. I'm considering hypnobirthing. I saw a lot of clients do well with it when I was at the birth center. We'll see. We are also no closer to naming this baby either. So much to do!!!

The Baby is Moving!

2008-10-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago, I thought I might have felt some movement, but it is really real now! This kid is very active and especially likes it when mommy eats :) At first, I could only feel it at night when I was going to sleep and totally paying attention, now it startles me throughout the day. I love it! We had our sonogram yesterday and that was really cool. We are not going to find out the sex so our sonographer told us to look away when she was heading down the torso. Watching our baby move around and swallow amniotic fluid was amazing. S/he had his/her hands in front of the face and then was sucking on the heel of the palm of the hand. It was super cute. Then we got an awesome 3D image of the face. Our baby has Shawn's forehead and the cutest little button nose. Medically speaking, everything looked good for the baby, no cleft lip or palate, the spine is perfect and all that stuff. I do have a low lying placenta, which is not uncommon at this stage in pregnancy. It is far enough away from the cervix not to cause a problem right now, but we'll probably have a follow up sono in a few months to make sure that it has migrated away from the cervix so as not to interfere with childbirth. At least that's what I would do if I were managing me, but I'm not, so we'll see what my midwives say at my next visit later in November.

We are looking into childcare now and boy is it expensive. It's hard because we obviously want what is best for our baby, but realistically, all we need for the first few months is a place to keep him/her safe. Does a 3 month old really need a stimulating Goddard School curriculum 3 days a week? I don't know. There is much to be done and March is fast approaching. We did a little more work on the nursery today, there is only one piece of furniture from the office left in there.

Peru was fantastic, but I couldn't keep track of where we had been or were going while we were there let alone a week after we got home. I will direct you to Shawn's blog (smseifert.blogspot.com) for a run down of our trip and great photos at smseifert.zenfolio.com. I am proud to say that I contributed more of my photographic skills this time around and there are more pictures of Shawn than usual.

Juno

2008-10-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

When the movie Juno came out, we knew it looked really good and got lots of acclaim both from reviews and friends, but it was such as sensitive time for us that we wanted to wait to see it. I thought that being over 17 weeks would be a safe time to rent it. I was only sort of right. It was excellent with strong performances from all actors, but every scene with Jennifer Gardner broke my heart and made me cry. I felt like I was both reliving my past and glimpsing what sadness my future could have been. I am so grateful to be naturally pregnant, but it is still hard to completely embrace it. I keep thinking I am going to wake up and it won't be true or something. I constantly look at my belly, feel my uterus and inspect my body for the other changes to remind myself that it is real. I am really pregnant, there is really a baby growing inside me, and I am really going to be a mom in March. I hope when I can feel my baby move with more consistency that I will feel better.

I am definitely showing more, people are noticing my baby bump without me telling them :) I'll have Shawn take more pictures this week.

Part time?

2008-10-01T18:04:00.000-07:00

With my looming infertility and a nice raise for Shawn, I dropped to part time hours at work in June. That should come out to about 20 hours a week. Unfortunately, just because the pay period averages out to 20 hours a week, does not mean I actually only work 20 hours a week. Last week was 18, this week is 36, and next week is 18. I am 3 days in to my work week (which is Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur, Sat, Mon) and I feel like I have been run over by a truck. This little baby is sucking all of my energy and I can't quite seem to catch up. I sleep about 7-9 hours a night plus an afternoon nap and I am still a zombie. It's barely 9pm and I am going to bed right now!!

17 weeks tomorrow! 3 more weeks and we could find out the sex...but we're not going to :) I am looking forward to the surprise.

Day one

2008-09-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would be one for the blogging. Shawn is much more of the techno guy than I am. But with all of our family so spread out, we need a better way of mass communicating our life events. I had hoped between Shawn's photo page smseifert.zenfolio.com and blog, smseifert.blogspot.com we would be covered, however, he tends to write about climbing and food more than daily events. So I will be covering the more mundane details of our life out here in Maryland.

I am 16 weeks and 3 days pregnant today. I thought I might have felt movement the other day, but I don't really know. We had our first appointment with the midwives at Bay Area Midwifery Center in Annapolis where I hope to have a successful birth center birth somewhere around March 12, 2009. (Don't worry family the hospital in a 2 minute ride down a hall and up an elevator if anything goes wrong.) We are starting to rearrange furniture and consolidate the office to make a nursery.

I have a full work week starting in the morning, (so much for part-time) so I am off to bed. Stay tuned...